Off-center

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It’s been a long time, I know.

I have discovered something about myself. I am not a multi-tasker.

I always thought I was. I would try to do many things at once and believed I was accomplishing something. But in reality, I was just doing many things poorly.

If I focus on one thing, everything else seems to fall apart and I get so upset at myself for not being able to keep it together. If I am really creative, making books and art, my house looks like a tornado hit it…laundry, dishes pile up. I eat poorly, grabbing things that are fast, that I don’t have to think about. I don’t exercise. My blog gets put on the back burner.

If I keep up with my blog and twitter and facebook and am constantly networking. Aly is sitting at my desk way too often, begging me to play with her.

If I am always going stuff around the house, trying to keep up with my self-inflicted rules about what a clean and orderly home should be…my time to create suffers.

I am not meeting my own standards of the person I want to be, of the mother I want to be, the wife I want to be, and the artist I want to be.

I am feeling lost. Off center. Maybe it’s a midlife crisis (a little early I might add).

I have thought about this long and hard this past couple weeks.  I have decided to take some time to find my center again. To try to find the balance that I desperately need in my life.

My kids will be out of school soon and I want to spend the summer doing many things with them. I want to read books. Lots of them. Garden. Plant flowers. I want to eat well and take long walks. I want to try new recipes. Set up my studio outside, play, try new techniques…create art without worrying if it will sell.

In the fall, I will start again… hopefully refreshed, centered, healthier, spilling over with ideas. Sharing my life and art with you once again.

So here’s to a creative and adventurous summer! Hope you have a good one.

We lost our sweet Abby this past week. She was with us for almost 12 years, a part of our family. She was such a great dog, a best friend, and a lover of all people. We will miss her everyday. 

Thursday Thoughts

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“The realist sees reality as concrete.  The optimist sees reality as clay. ” ~Robert Brault

I am an optimistic person, someone who tries to see the good in every situation. I believe this makes me a happier person.

This week I have been around some very negative people. People who are just miserable, constantly complaining about this and that. Their attitudes are toxic. I can feel my mood  plummet the minute they walk in the room.

I wish I had the guts to say….Smile. Look at problems as challenges to be overcome. Be patient. Be thankful for all the good in your life. If you don’t like your current situation, do something about it.

This is what I tell my kids all the time.

Are you an optimist or a realist? How has your past influenced this? Just another topic to write about in your journal!

 

Spring journaling

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Today was so beautiful outside. Yes, spring is on its way.

This photo is from last May, wishful thinking!

Finally I want to take my journal outside, sit in the warm sun, listen to the breeze, and write. So today I did. It felt good to get some things off my chest, to dream and wish.

Here are some things for you to write about, to dream about and to wish for.

1) List 5 things you want to do in the next 5 years.

2) What do you perceive as your greatest weakness? why?

3) What do you like to dream about?

4)What are you searching for?

5) What are you thankful for today?

I have also put some new journals up for sale on in my etsy store. Check them out!

Have a good night and thanks for reading.

Baby Steps

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I’ve mentioned before how I am taking the online course Hello Soul Hello Business. Well, now we have moved from the dreaming phase to the doing phase. This has been hard and scary for me.  Dreaming is easy, we all have dreams of what we want for ourselves, in work and in life.

Making them happen is another story.

We make all these excuses for not going for it. Not enough money, time, family obligations, and not the right time, don’t know where to start… that WAS me. (Up until I took this course that is!)

What if in spite of these obstacles we decided to do it anyways? Maybe at a slower pace, around family obligations. Baby steps.

I would often say to myself, “Life would be so much easier if you just worked as a nurse, took care of your family, and your home”. No stressing about finding time to make art, no stressing about keeping up with my blog, no stressing about teaching classes, no stressing about how to make my business grow, no stressing about making money. My inner critic is supported by a few well-meaning family and friends, which doesn’t help.

But I can’t do it, I can’t take the easy road. There is this little voice in my head that drives me to want more. To not only make art but to SHARE it. And I worry and I stress over this and that, but in the end I feel that it all pays off. The sense of accomplishment with finishing a project, or teaching a successful class, makes it all worth it. I want to do it again and again. Yes, it’s hard to juggle everything and I constantly feel as though I can’t keep up, but   I will not give up. I will not take the easy road, no matter what anyone says.

With this course I am developing a plan and it may take some time for my goals to be reached. I am OK with that. I have faith that my journey will unfold as it should. Baby steps.

I am willing to work hard, I will keep on moving in the direction of my dreams (and I have big ones, believe me!) However, my family will always be the center of my decisions.

What I want my children to remember most about growing up is … my Mom was always there for me. Being present, being involved, being guidance and being love. Nothing is more important.

PS If any of you live in western NH or eastern VT, there is a little blurb about me and my journals in the magazine Upper Valley Life. I am thrilled to be mentioned!!

 

Success and Failure

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“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I was trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I have failed over and over in my life. And that is why I succeed.” –Michael Jordan

I give you this quote in the spirit of March Madness. Even if you are not a basketball fan, I believe you can appreciate that Michael Jordan is probably the greatest basketball player to date. Yet he admits his failures and he certainly never gave up playing basketball because of them.

Our failures make us stronger. We learn from them, change, and move on. We have to pick up the pieces, hold our heads up, and try again. (and again and again…). This is the only way we will ever get where we want to be. This is the only way we will heal and value our mission, our purpose.

So today, when I feel like a huge failure because I got nothing done that I had planned, I tell myself that tomorrow is another day. I will try to tackle that to-do list again.

Without excuses. I will do better than today.

not the best photo, but the emotion is loud and clear

Five

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She’s five today. And believe me when I say she has been waiting a whole year for this. She has been talking about this for months, had the cake she wanted picked out last October. Not kidding. This girl is serious about her birthday.

Yesterday I took her shopping for all her birthday party stuff. She was walking on air all day, so silly, sweet, and unusually cooperative. That happiness poured into today. She must have said, “it’s my birthday today” a million times. It was her answer to anything I asked her to do or not to do.

butterfly cupcakes for school and a sparkly birthday crown

Mason played "Happy Birthday" on the trumpet for her before school. She was quite impressed!

So mayst thou live, dear! many years,
In all the bliss that life endears,…
~Thomas Hood, “To My Daughter, On Her Birthday”

Happy Birthday, my sweet girl!

Sharing

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I wanted to share with you a great journaling blog that I recently discovered. There is so much useful information, inspiration, and just good stuff from many sources. If you have been lagging in your journaling, there is probably something there that will help you get going again.

Here’s some journaling prompts for this week, hope they get your pen moving!

1)   I love the color ____________ because ….

2)   Politics today-How do you feel about it?

3)   If someone looked into your purse/wallet, what would they learn about you?

4)   What does success mean to you?

5)   What are you thankful for today?

I also wanted to share a new journal that’s for sale on etsy. This is one for that amazing woman who wants to document her story of living through breast cancer. This one was inspired by a friend recently diagnosed. $25 of the sale of the journal will be donated to Making Strides for Breast Cancer.

Have a wonderful day!